The Puzzle Ring

A famous Russian writer (which one, is unknown – the phrase is attributed to Marshak, Gorky or Tschukovsky) once said: “You should write for children like you would do for adults, but better”.

Sadly, the author of The Puzzle ring did not. My impression is that she set to create a novel for a “spherical 8-12 y.o. girl in vacuum”, a non-existant creature, nevertheless a target of lots of marketing. It is this girl who like hot pink and no other color, who want to use make up, to have a pony (or, better, a unicorn) and to be a princess (and only a princess!). At this age I, personally, wanted to be an astronaut  and collected toy guns, but that’s beside the point.

Our heroine is, alas, not a princess, but she is a future countess. Though se is an ordinary Australian kid. Gasp, she never knew about her title or the fact she has a loving and lonely grandmother. Why? Because her mom didn’t want her to know. Why? I’m not really sure, the mom was very unclear on that. Even though it would have been enough to say “I didn’t want you to grow up with privilege” or “Australian climate is so much better”.

The language is simple (spherical girls in vacuum don’t have a very large vocabulary). The characters are simple as well. The mom is a skeptical scientist, which is emphasized on every page. The heroine is dreamy and imaginative, and the author does not let us forget it, by making the poor kid talk about magic on every page as well. The rest of the kid characters are not even flat, they are single-dimensional. A mean girl (who suddenly becomes the best friend after one conversation), a poor wild boy who like animals (hi, Dickon from Secret garden!), a nondescript boy, who is there for no good reason at all. The adults are in the background and don’t matter.

The heroine is a typical Mary Sue:  she also is a wonderful singer, a witch who masters magic in one day and, obviously, the only one who can break a 400 year old curse. Even more annoyingly, she is the center of everyday life. All for kids have birthdays in a row, but we only get the detailed list of what others gave our golden girl. Did she gave her friends no presents for their respective birthdays because she is mean? No, it’s just the author deems them unimportant.

The adventures in the past are realistic in their lack of comfort, but totally unrealistic in the endurance the kids show. Modern children going on foot all around Scotland? A girl swimming and diving in the ocean in the middle of winter?!? I understand that the author is Australian, but has she any idea at all how cold it is? I know it’s a magic tale, but come on!

I kept hoping for a twist, for a real challenge for the heroes, but in vain. All issues were solved by a magical stone. The lost fairy child turned out to be exactly who you would first suspect. Everyone lived happily ever after. If you are not a little girl dreaming of princesses and ponies, don’t read it. If you are, go watch some My little pony and don’t read it as well.